Hi, my name is Christine.
I understand that most people will think i am a Christian - and kindly send me christmas wishes every year -, but the truth is i am not :)
Although i am Christine, my id card said that i am a born-Buddhist.
But deep inside, i know that neither my name nor my id card can explain my believes because the truth is, i am more like a Taoist than a Buddhist.
The reason why my id card stated me a Buddhist is because some Indonesian historical reason that hard to explain.
This contradiction makes me crazy. Every time i meet someone new, they will think and assume something that i am not,
And, my last name Franciska, add my frustration. It should be written Francisca. Thanks to the officer who typed my name wrong :)
That is not my family name anyway. I don’t really have one.
For a long time, i felt that name is just a name. It didn’t matter what your name is for what people see is just your attitude.
But now, i think differently. i guess name has an important role to define who you really are. And all of these conflicting identity on myself bugging me so much.
Because i can’t tell who am i.
I don’t know where i belong to.
And it seems hard to fit in.
I have a new plush named Milo. He is a white brown dog with long ears and big black eyes. I always keep him on my office desk to keeps me warm.
The air con whom i called it Yeti is a bad bad monster that makes me freezing all day. He blows cold air with his bristle mouth to many directions and he laughs - a laugh that piss me off.
Luckily, Milo is here at best for his attitude. He listens when i talk, especially when i complain about Yeti. He understands that i don’t like Yeti, but with his wise face, he told me to embrace the cold and make a peace with my own anger.
"Yeti and the chill will never go away," Milo said. "So embrace it, take a deep breath and sing for it makes you feel better."